Things are hard right now. Really hard. It’s been an incredibly hard year all around. Moving for a new job that didn’t work out. Worrying about when/if I’m going to have to move again. Losing my Grandmother. Losing my Uncle three days later. Things are hard and I am pretty much exhausted.
I really wasn’t sure how I’d feel about quilting after losing Ma. I was worried that the joy would just go out of it for me. But during one of the last visits I had with her while she was still coherent, she kept asking the hospital staff that came into the room if they wanted to see something beautiful, and telling me to show them the quilt I was working on, a version of the butterfly quilt I’d made for her this spring. That’s what I think about when I’m quilting now, how quilting was something special that we shared right up to the end. And how proud she was to have someone continue the tradition.
So, I’m still quilting. Sometimes it is too hard and I have to walk away. But mostly I get lost in the repetition and driven to finish just one more block, then one more after that. And right now, getting lost in an endless stream of tiny hand stitches seems like the perfect distraction. So I just keep quilting.